Twelve – My First Love





12I started secondary school full of nerves and excitement- a whole new place out of Whitstable. Equipped with a uniform I hated and a Miffy shoulder bag I loved. On the first day, my primary school had put some of the mums in contact that had children  going to the same schools outside of Whitstable. My best friend till this day was in that group of nervous pre-teens. We sat nervously at the bus stop waiting for the 902 Chaucer school bus with our parents.

These couple of years started rough; a girl drew a dick on my face in blue marker and people chucked food on the school bus – highly disgusting and trashy. I found where I belonged, I found the best friends a girl could ask for. These were the years I first felt real long-lasting love for my Best Friends. I quickly learnt I would do anything for them and even when I was being the biggest dickhead in the world they still loved me and I them. As I write this I feel overwhelmed with the love I feel for them. Friends really do come and go but the good, strong ones that make you laugh when all you want to do is cry are there for a life time if you let them.
The first of these wonderful people I found was… let’s call her… Catherine. She lives in my hometown and she laughed with me until we both cried. We could and still can know how each other will react to any situation possible. We were joint at the hip and we thought it was forever the thought of losing the Angel to my Devil was unbearable. It is still unbearable. She makes any situation good and I would rather spend every hour on the phone to her talking about food than I would talking to anyone else. She is the sister I never had. Our morals, views and opinions are always the same yet she is light, I am dark. The unconditional love we share will be forever and will not just last time but distance. At times where I felt I was losing her. It hurt like losing the ability to walk.
The full leg cast, the only operation I have ever had on my good leg. The first time that society had rejected me for my disability. I was too young and naïve and quite frankly I couldn’t wait for the time off school. For six weeks I wasn’t allowed in education as it was a health and safety concern not being able to get up and down the stairs on my own. My twelve-year-old self chose a pink and purple striped cast just to make it that much more obvious. If I’m honest I don’t remember much from this time apart from friends coming round to visit. The group of friends that included Catherine but not yet the others.
Then came Laura*. She was friends with some dicks that would rather bitch about each other than learn what a good friend and important person she could be in their lives. She became ours, our best friend. We met in PE a lesson I would do anything to avoid taking part in. I made up a song about our teacher, thankfully she laughed. From that day on she became the third member of our group. We didn’t do anything without each other. We spent most weekends at the beach getting drunk on cheap cider and smoking our first cigarettes. She carried me through fields and pushed me in my wheelchair, she saw the light when all I saw was dark. She made me love life again, a constant reminder that it isn’t that bad. she is my rock, my crutch I love to have in my life.
The third lovely lady shall we say Charlie*. She is and always will be my emotional rock. She understands the most irrational feelings you could ever had, in fact she has probably had them herself. We didn’t see each other every day but I knew she was always there. We had our ups and downs. She’s remained a solid in my life until this day.
Last but not least came Sophie. Her mum was our favourite teacher, she became a constant in our lives. Overly emotional, caring and generous. She sees both sides of every situation (when it isn’t her own). She will do anything to make peace. She sees the best in us all and although she hasn’t know as all quite as long, she is vital to us.
My first couple of years at school found me friends for life, a weird understanding of how the opposite sex aren’t just friends and an operations resulting in a full leg cast. These years of my life were where I first found love, the loves of my life in the form of friendship. These girls will be mine forever, our memories still make me smile the good and the bad. They saw me through the darkest period of my life and they still love me just as much as I love them. Although some came later as you will hear, these girls taught me love.

*names were changed in this post.

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